It doesn't matter how rich, handsome, athletic, smart, or beautiful you are, the one thing we ALL have in common is that sometimes our biggest fear is that we won't fit in - that we won't be liked, that we will be awkward, or that we will be rejected.
This fear creeps in when we me meet new people in any number of arenas:
-The first day of school is never easy.
-Fitting in with new co-workers can be equally intimidating.
-Networking events can make us feel isolated.
-And pitching a new product or service requires stepping out of our comfort zone on a daily basis.
Fitting in is different than standing out! And make no mistake, there are times when you're going to want to stand out - but not every situation calls for that. Sometimes, our only desire is to FIT IN.
I have three things you can do right now that will make fitting in easier the next time you enter any arena.
1. Have a warm and genuine smile at the ready. I say genuine, because the smile needs to go all the way up into your eyes. We see your warm smile, and it draws us in.
2. Compliment others. Find something about them that you can genuinely compliment them on. Here are some ideas to get you started: jewelry, clothing, the way they engage others, athleticism, and their ideas. When you compliment someone, it releases dopamine into their blood stream. Dopamine hits the Reward Center in our brains and makes us feel good. So, when you compliment someone, they'll associate that good feeling with you.
3. Mirror their body language - it creates rapport. Most people don't understand the value or power of rapport. Rapport gets people like you and trust you. When you mirror their body language, you communicate on a whole other level that you want to connect.
Here are a few mirroring techniques to try out:
Lean in when they lean in. Tilt your head if they do. Use facial expressions and hand gestures that are similar to theirs. Mirroring syncs us to you, and we feel this deeper connection at a gut level.
These three techniques make fitting in so much easier. Its crazy how simple these techniques are, but they work! Not only are they based in research, but I use them myself whenever I meet someone new. And they work in every arena.
I'm always thrilled when my friends and clients share their tips and research with me. I'd love to hear if you have any tips or advice for fitting in. Do you have something tried and true that works for you? If you do, share your light an love and post your tips in the comments, so that others can learn, too!
Be brave, your advice will be met with gratitude and, I promise, you'll fit right in!
If there's someone you know who would benefit from this post, share it with them! Its a wonderful way to let them know you care!