How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Build Genuine Connections

authenticity branding-executive-presence confidence executive presence networking real-life networking Sep 16, 2025

I’ve been working with a senior leader recently who is learning to expand his executive presence. Like many leaders, he’s confident in his work, but when it comes to networking events or larger meetings, he finds himself holding back—especially when it comes to starting conversations or sharing personal stories.

This is a common challenge for introverted leaders: the spotlight feels uncomfortable, and conversations can feel flat or transactional. The good news? Executive presence in these settings isn’t about dominating a room—it’s about creating genuine connection. And that can be learned.

Here are the tools and strategies I teach my clients to help them feel safe, confident, and generous in how they show up with others.

1. Anchor Your Nervous System Before You Enter the Room

Executive presence starts on the inside. If your nervous system is in “fight or flight,” it will show up in your posture, tone, and energy.

Grounding Breath: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 2, exhale for 6. Repeat three times. This slows your system down and signals safety.
Body Reset: Roll your shoulders back, stand tall, plant your feet, and take one deep belly breath.
Visualization: Picture yourself entering the space with calm confidence. Imagine people turning toward you, glad to meet you. Anchor the phrase: “I belong here. People are glad I showed up.”

This creates an internal state of calm and confidence that naturally radiates outward.

2. Share Generously—But Selectively

One of the fastest ways to build rapport is by offering a glimpse into your passions, experiences, or everyday joys. You don’t need to share everything—just enough to create a hook for connection.

Safe categories include:

Passions: causes or values you care about.
Experiences: stories of projects you’ve worked on, challenges you’ve navigated, or lessons you’ve learned.
Hobbies: light, human details that make you relatable (hiking, golf, cooking, cabin weekends).
Local Connection: favorite community spots or events.

Reflection prompts:

What’s a story from your life that shows what you care about?
What hobbies or interests feel natural to talk about?
What’s one recent experience you enjoyed that you could share?

3. Ask Questions That Spark Interest

Most people default to “What do you do?” But the best connectors go deeper. Thoughtful questions show curiosity and presence.

Try these instead:

“What’s been the highlight of your week so far?”
“What part of your work has been most meaningful lately?”
“What drew you into this field?”
“What are you excited about outside of work?”
“What do you love most about being part of this community?”

And when you get a flat response? Use simple follow-ups like:

“Tell me more about that…”
“What surprised you most?”
“How did that shape your perspective?”

4. Exit Gracefully When Conversations Fall Flat

Not every exchange will flow, and that’s okay. A graceful exit keeps your confidence intact:

Acknowledge: “Great hearing about your project.”
Closure: “I’ll let you mingle a bit…”
Handshake or smile, then move on.

The goal isn’t to talk to everyone. It’s to create a few meaningful connections.

5. Build Reps Through Small Daily Practices

Executive presence is built one conversation at a time. Encourage yourself to:

Initiate a short conversation daily (barista, colleague, neighbor).
Keep a “story bank” of 3–5 safe, engaging stories you can share.
Spend 3 minutes visualizing calm, confident entry before events.
Capture wins and reflections in a journal to track progress.

The Bottom Line

Connection is the foundation of influence. When you regulate your internal state, share generously, and ask better questions, you create conversations that feel alive. You don’t need to dominate the room—you just need to show up as the calm, confident leader you already are.

Be brave and go forth.

Polly