Thirty minutes was all I had left with my client, “Mark.”
For the first twenty minutes of his training session, Mark had gone into detail about why he wasn’t happy, even though he should be. He talked at length about how he felt he was being undermined at work. He knew that he should be standing up for himself, and start showing his colleagues that he’s “got his act together.” He wanted to stand out in meetings, he also desperately wanted to fit in with the people he worked with. He looked at me, and continued to give more reasons why his life felt so incongruent with who he thought he was and could be.
I’ve been paid to help Mark through this, and I had twenty-five minutes left before his session was over.
I moved in close, standing nearly toe-to-toe, and peered deep into his eyes: “Is it possible, Mark, that there is a courageous, exciting, authentic, and confident man in there?”
Do you ever feel invisible sometimes? Like you’re overlooked or what you have to say doesn’t matter?
If you’re grudgingly nodding your head yes, you’ll get a lot out of this article.
First of all, no matter who you are or what business you’re in, there will always be people who are just not interested in hearing you out. It doesn’t matter how great your ideas are, you can’t make someone listen to you if they’re not interested.
Take heart, because more often than not, their disinterest is a reflection on them and their circumstances. It’s not a reflection on you.
With that said, let's take a look at how you communicate.
Because making small tweaks in the way you communicate can make a world of difference in making sure you are taken seriously.
This list isn’t exhaustive. Not even close.
But its enough to give your communication skills some traction the next time you need to be heard.
Number 1. Cut the jargon.
Its that time of year again when families and friends gather to exchange gifts and feast on food and wine. Here’s a take on an old, but favorite, Christmas song to help you navigate the parties ahead.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me….
12 Palms Uplifted – If you’re asking for help with decorations or even offering a drink, use a "palms up" gesture instead of a "palms down" gesture. You'll give an impression of being more open and inviting, and less like you're giving a command.
11 Introductions – If you want to be an awesome host, this is the best thing you should be saying all night: “Hey, have you met _____? I would love to introduce you!” The second best thing to be saying all night: “Can I get you more food/drink?” Connect as many people as possible and make sure they’re comfortable with food and drink. Your guests will feel at ease and cared for.
I'm working with a client to develop her digital brand into something that will capture the interest of her potential clients. One of the elements we worked on today was her Avatar, the photo(s) she uses on social media and on her coaching website.
Your avatar is your visual representation of your professional persona and your BEST authentic self. Your avatar should be interesting and not bland. It should represent your personality, but also demonstrate strength and warmth. Because strength demonstrates certainty, and people pay for certainty. And warmth gets people to like and trust you. So both need to be considered.
Rather than just posting a photo, put some thought into how you want others to perceive you. Because your avatar is often the first impression we have of you, and that first impression carries a lot of weight.
What images and colors come to mind when you think of quirky, confident, creative, smart,...