It doesn't matter how rich, handsome, athletic, smart, or beautiful you are, the one thing we ALL have in common is that sometimes our biggest fear is that we won't fit in - that we won't be liked, that we will be awkward, or that we will be rejected.
This fear creeps in when we me meet new people in any number of arenas:
-The first day of school is never easy.
-Fitting in with new co-workers can be equally intimidating.
-Networking events can make us feel isolated.
-And pitching a new product or service requires stepping out of our comfort zone on a daily basis.
Fitting in is different than standing out! And make no mistake, there are times when you're going to want to stand out - but not every situation calls for that. Sometimes, our only desire is to FIT IN.
I have three things you can do right now that will make fitting in easier the next time you enter any arena.
1. Have a warm and genuine smile at the...
Because of the anxiety a toast or speech creates, most often, we procrastinate and wait until the very last minute to throw something together. Or worse, we wing it!
To make the process easier, I’m giving you my Top 10 List of the Best Ways to Prepare for and Present a Wedding Toast
Don’t wait until the last minute. This seems like a no-brainer, but give yourself a couple weeks to work on it. Trust me, if you wait until the last minute, your anxiety will effectively hit the kill switch on any fun you’re having at the reception. On the other hand, if you prepare ahead, you’ll feel more confident at the mic.
Confidence = Sexy. Cheers.
Start jotting down things you remember about the bride and/or groom. Stories are powerful and can move an audience. Start thinking of stories that are funny,...
How you carry yourself is your SOURCE OF PERSONAL POWER!
If we have STRONG, CONFIDENT posture we will FEEL MORE CONFIDENT.
Because our physiology directly impacts our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
If we are slumped or if we slouch, this can make us feel weak, less-than, and disempowered. Because slouching decreases the confidence-inducing testosterone in our system, and increases the stress hormone, cortisol.
When we use defeated body language, it can set off the negative inner dialogue - our inner critic, and this negative self-talk attacks our self-esteem and self-confidence.
BE AWARE OF HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF. If you need to feel confident and demonstrate that confidence, keep your body language in check.
Because confidence equates to certainty. And people pay for certainty.
Stand tall, y'all!
Think about your character and legacy. Look out there, beyond your meetings, beyond your month's to-do's and all the things you have to do. Ask yourself this simple question, "How do I want those whom I love and serve to remember me?"
It's important to take a step back because when you're constantly juggling and feel depleted, because you're not thinking about the future. You're just trying to survive and get through today. You start to lose your clear intention for how you want to show up with your family and teams. Your executive presence suffers. The quality of your interactions suffers.
Can you relate?
Let me tell you, its not about having more time. Because we all know there's never enough of it.
It is about imagining your interactions with people, and asking yourself why they love and respect you. How would they describe their interactions with you? Make a list and then choose to demonstrate those qualities each...
Its not rare to hear them speak of "being called," destiny, legacy, drive, or a responsibility to others as primary motivators for why they perform at the levels they do.
They strive for their best, because they know their performance will affect their future and the futures of others.
Having a sense of duty to something beyond yourself is a strong driver in motivation and performance.
But not all days are easy. It’s scary to demand a lot of yourself.
Its unnerving to push the boundaries of your capabilities. To show your true courage. To show your true heart.
When things get difficult, remember your cause.
When fear rises and you battle hardship, remember your calling.
Raise your arms and dive into the deep end of your passions.
Tie your identity to doing good work.
Remember WHY your striving and your performance are so important.
Climb. Sustain positive performance. Make the impact you were called...
Most candidates make the mistake of not having a clear message that they want to share. At best, they wing it when giving an on-camera interview, and that is a HUGE mistake. It can lead to rambling, and their message is often be filled with ums and ahs, detracting from the strong presence they want to convey to voters.
Do you want to be seen as a leader or a follower?
Here's an important tip! Boil your message down to the three points that are most important.
A lot of people believe this is dumming down your message for the media, but its not. You're prioritizing what's important to you, and these points are what you'll come back to again and again and again in the interview.
Boiling your message down to three points keeps you on topic, and keeps you from rambling on and on which will detract from the image you're wanting to present to voters, donors, and peers.
I'm sure you have 30 topics to choose from, but...
I mean, we’ve all heard the term, shameless self promotion. But where did we learn that self promotion is bad..?
If the work we put out into the world brings us joy, or confidence, or pride, why should we feel shame over it?
I think its because most of us aren’t the greatest at self-promotion, and selling ourselves can feel like we’re bragging, or worse, awkward.
I think this is crazy!
In fact, I have a different point of view on this topic.
My belief is that we were all born with gifts that are meant to serve this world. And if you don’t toot your own horn and self promote your gifts, then you are holding back valuable resources from those who need you most.
Once you untangle those feelings of shame from the expression of your unique gifts, then you can better serve the world.
And trust me, we need your gifts.